lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
