Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
