You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sex in a hospital.. check
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
