Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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