She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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