i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We have so much sex to catch up on
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
