Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
