She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My penis needs a shock collar
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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