Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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