Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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