Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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