Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
