Dual....:-)
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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