So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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