About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
