Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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