I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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