I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
