Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
