She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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