would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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