come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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