every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize