I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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