The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
