so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
