Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
