She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
