I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Shame - the story of my life.
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