I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
