Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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