I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
