is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
