dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
