Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize