so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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