whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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