Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
