butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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