Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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