Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
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