one two three fourrrrnication!
Do vagina's smell?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize