She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
