hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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