Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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