lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
