so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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