Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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