just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
