Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
