It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
