she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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