shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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