Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
