I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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