Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
