she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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