Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
