I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
