I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Randomize