im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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